A study of Exodus 20
#9 Don't You Believe It: There's No
Such Thing as a 'Little White Lie'
Exodus 20:16
It's one of the most familiar phrases
on TV, repeated again and again on courtroom shows. "Do you swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth…?"
It's an appropriate phrase to think of
as we begin our look at the ninth commandment. The boundary set by the ninth commandment
applies directly to criminal and civil legal cases. Yet this commandment, as do all the
others, suggests other boundaries that the individual who seeks to live a holy life will
want to establish, and live within.
During the past few weeks we’ve
been considering one of the Ten Commandments in each service. With each of the
commandments, the world has a counter proposal that is generally accepted in our society.
These are the myths that confront the commandments and are refuted by the commandments.
The myths of secular society are presented as something good and wonderful. However, with
each myth, just opposite is true. The world says follow the paths these myths lead and
life will be happy and fulfilling. But buying into these myths lead to the exact opposite:
it leads to misery, heartache, despair and loneliness in life.
These myths are lies. Lies are by
nature deceptive. In this sermon we will discover how pervasive and destructive lies are.
The myth concerning lying is: To live and do the things we have to do in life necessitates
the telling of small, supposedly inconsequential, lies - known as "little white
lies."
In politics, lying has been
reclassified. Falsehoods are no longer called lies, it is called "putting a
spin" on a story. A spin is intended to make something distasteful look better or it
is used to make something that is acceptable become unacceptable. It happens all the time.
It happens in election campaigns, committee meetings, congressional hearings, news
releases and speeches. We’ve seen a lot of it during the cabinet confirmation
hearings these last two weeks.
The truth is no longer held as being
important -- to some it is optional at best. We lie and then try to convince ourselves
that it is necessary to do so just to get by.
In 1996, the New York Times said in an
article that 91% of Americans confess that they regularly don't tell truth. A full 20%
admitted that they can't get through the day without telling conscious, premeditated white
lies. Our culture has bought into the idea of "little white lies."
The concept of the "white
lie" is a myth. In the sight of God, there is no such thing as a harmless untruth,
when it is an effort to deceive.
The "credibility gap" that
once alienated the public from people in high places now seems to separate us from one
another in all walks of life. Americans lie on their income tax returns to the tune of
millions of dollars a year. Doctors fake reports in order to profit from Medicare
patients. Prize athletes at great universities are kept eligible for competition through
bogus credits and forged transcripts of academic records. Children soon acquire the
cynical assumption that lying is the normal tack for TV advertisers. In the words of a
Time magazine essay, ours is "a huckstering, show-bizzy world, jangling with hype,
hullabaloo, and hooey, bull, baloney, and bamboozlement." After a while, people tend
to expect not to hear the truth anymore. (Lewis Smedes, Mere Morality --James S. Hewett,
Illustrations Unlimited, Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988), p. 456.)
Since creation there has been an evil
nature about us that seeks to distort the truth. We see this nature in our children. There
is a new thought among researchers that children can and will tell deliberate lies by age
4, or perhaps even earlier. However, until age 8 most children cannot distinguish between
a deliberate false statement and an unintentional one, but do know that it is wrong to try
to mislead someone. ("Would a child lie?" by Paul Ekman. Psychology Today,
Jul/Aug 1989. Pages 62-65.)
Lying has become the hallmark of our
society. We see mass
media distort the truth through sensationalism every day of our lives. "Americans say
they no longer trust journalists to tell them the truth about their world. Young people
have difficulty finding anything of relevance to their lives in the daily newspaper."
(Bill Moyers quoted in EPA Liaison, Jul/Aug, 1992) We see truth distorted by politicians.
We see truth distorted by preachers.
Last week I was tempted to give all of
you a homework assignment to prepare for today’s sermon. It is the same assignment
that had been given to one congregation some time ago. A minister ended one Sunday morning
service by instructing his people, "I would like all of you to read the 17th chapter
of Mark’s Gospel before next Sunday."
The
following Sunday, true to his word, he asked the congregation, "How many of you
actually read the 17th chapter of Mark’s Gospel this past week?" Almost everyone
in the pews raised their hands to signify they had indeed read that 17th chapter. The
minister then stunned his people by announcing, "Ladies and gentlemen, there is no
17th chapter of Mark." Then he proceeded to preach his Sunday morning sermon, which
happened to be on lying.
Just
like all of the others of the great commandments of God, the violation of this commandment
is rampant in humanity. It is part of a human condition that has existed ever since Eve
believed the lies of the serpent in the garden; it is simply sin. Each of us knows that we
will be exposed to someone’s lies on a daily basis. It is incredible to think that
one of the most beloved stories in our national folklore, you know, the one where George
Washington tells his father he "cannot tell a lie," and it was he who cut down
the cherry tree, it is incredible that the story itself is a lie because it never
happened.
Leonard Sweet included this list of "Top
10 Liars’ Lies":
10. We’ll stay only five minutes.
9. This will be a short meeting.
8. I’ll respect you in the
morning.
7. The check is in the mail.
6. I’m from the government, and I’m
here to help you.
5. This hurts me more than it hurts
you.
4. Your money will be cheerfully
refunded.
3. We service what we sell.
2. Your table will be ready in just a
minute.
1. I’ll start exercising (dieting,
forgiving, ...) tomorrow.
Our dishonest dilemma began in Eden
with Satan's first lie. Our worst nightmare began when Satan
bore false testimony against God. Satan asks, "Did God really say, 'You must not
eat from any tree in the garden?'" Then he says, "You will not surely die
. . . For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like
God, knowing good and evil." That first lie brought all the death and destruction
since the creation.
John 8:44-45 You belong to your father, the devil,
and you want to carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not
holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native
language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Yet because I tell the truth, you do
not believe me! (NIV)
Acts 13:9-10 Then Saul, who was also called Paul,
filled with the Holy Spirit, looked straight at Elymas and said, "You are a child of
the devil and an enemy of everything that is right! You are full of all kinds of deceit
and trickery. Will you never stop perverting the right ways of the Lord? (NIV)
Actually, lying is the glittering
centerpiece of Satan's strategy. When he encountered Eve in the garden, his first
statement was a lie about God: "You will not surely die" (Genesis 3:4).
Clearly, deception is the glue that holds Satan's agenda together. Can you think of one
sin where nontruth isn't right beside it or right behind it?
There is nothing more important than
truth and there is nothing more devastating than the absence of truth. The ninth
commandment, "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor"
(Exodus 20:16 NIV) is not to be taken lightly.
Mark Twain said, "When in doubt,
tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends." However,
Solomon says, "Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline and
understanding." (Proverbs 23:23NIV) For those seeking God's kingdom, truth is
discovered as we seek knowledge of God. Through truth come wisdom, discipline and
understanding.
Proverbs 8:4-11 "To you, O men, I call out; I
raise my voice to all mankind. You who are simple, gain prudence; you who are foolish,
gain understanding. Listen, for I have worthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what
is right. My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All the words of my
mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse. To the discerning all of them are
right; they are faultless to those who have knowledge. Choose my instruction instead of
silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than
rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her. (NIV)
The Nature of Lying
First, we need to go back to the ninth
commandment and understand its meaning and purpose.
"You shall not bear false
witness against your neighbor.
The commandment, as originally given,
was to be applied in court situations. In civil or criminal disputes, every Israelite was
responsible to aid in bringing justice in these disputes.
Several things were necessary if the
biblical justice system was to work. It was necessary to have as judges godly local elders
who could not be bribed (Exodus 23:8) and who would not show partiality. It was also
necessary for any in the community who had knowledge of a matter in dispute, or knowledge
of law-breaking, to come forward and testify to what they knew (Leviticus 5:1).
In the Old Testament legal justice
system it was essential that witnesses testify, and that they testify truthfully to that
about which they had personal knowledge. Keeping the ninth commandment was critical,
otherwise the society would not survive because of its dependence upon the truthfulness of
witnesses.
Exodus 23:1-3 and 6-8 are prohibitions
that show how easily a person can be influenced to spread a rumor or testify falsely. It
may be that you're simply following the crowd. If the majority of people believe that
someone has committed something wrong, you assume they're right. Rather than speak only
that which you know from personal knowledge, you speak about the situation as if your
words convey the truth. Or maybe you feel sympathy for a poor person, or one who suffered
a terrible injury. So you shade your testimony to favor him or her against an insurance
company. After all, the insurance company can afford it. Or perhaps you hope to gain from
being on the side of the wealthy in a dispute, and so "pervert the judgment of your
poor." Perhaps there is something else you hope to gain by shading your testimony, or
keeping a rumor alive. The warning and prohibitions found in Exodus 23, make it clear that
we human beings can find both "legitimate" and selfish reasons for failing to
tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
In fact, Old Testament law sets up
further requirements to guard against the false witness. Deuteronomy 19:15-20 declares
that one witness is insufficient. It is "by the mouth of two or three witnesses the
matter shall be established." (Deuteronomy 19:15). If a witness is discovered to be
false, then he will suffer the penalty that would have been given to the accused if he had
been found guilty!
What exactly is a "false
witness?" In Exodus 19:16, the Hebrew word used (seqer) describes
"groundless" words. Groundless words have no basis in fact. A false witness
brings an accusation that has no basis in reality. It makes no difference as to the intent
of the false witness – he may intend to harm a person, or make himself feel
important, or goes along with the crowd, or repeating a rumor -- he has no substantial
grounds or basis of fact for his testimony. The bottom line is: a witness must be an
eyewitness of that to which he testifies.
The ninth commandment’s
application in the New Testament.
Jesus taught that the boundaries of the
ten commandments testify to a deeper intent expressed in them. In The Sermon on the Mount,
Jesus was neither giving new laws nor modifying the old, but rather explaining the true
significance of the moral content of Moses’ law and the rest of the Old Testament.
His intent was that He and His followers would fulfill the law. Jesus was calling His
disciples to a deeper, more radical holiness.
The tendency in Jesus’ day was to
soften the law’s demands by focusing only on external obedience. But Jesus teaches
that the righteousness the law calls for involves an internal conformity to the spirit of
the law, rather than mere external compliance to the letter. People’s lives are too
important to God to tolerate anything that would break the obvious or deeper intent of the
ninth commandment.
This leads the writers of the New
Testament to proclaim righteousness that excluded some things and included others. First,
the New Testament writers took a radical stance against gossip, slander, judging others,
rumors, unjust criticism, malice, arrogance, boasting about self and general misuse of the
tongue. Next they proclaimed that it was necessary to always stand with the truth.
Why should there be such a radical
stance against lying? It is because…
Lying is destructive.
First, lying is destructive because it
pushes us away from God.
We know that one of the character
traits of God is that He is love. This is a tremendous truth about the God we serve. But
we must not make the mistake of thinking that God is only love. God is also truth. Since
God is truth, every time we do or say something with the intent to deceive, we are moving
further away from God.
Second, lying is destructive in that it
separates us from each other.
Not only does it push us away from God,
but it harms our relationships with other people, as well.
A wife once asked her husband,
"Why don't you play golf with Ted anymore." Her husband replied, "Would you
play golf with a man who moved the golf ball with his foot when you weren't
watching?" His wife said, "Well, no. I wouldn't." Her husband said,
"Neither will Ted."
When we lie, it undermines our
personal, marital, and social relationships. If a person cannot trust us to tell the
truth, then that relationship will be harmed, sometimes irreparably.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger, in her book
on the Ten Commandments, tells of a time she caught her 6-year-old son in a lie. She'd
given him the standard lecture many times before, so this time she tried something
different. She told him that he would not know whether she was lying or telling truth for
one week. Her boy wasn't very bothered by this prospect, initially. The next day, while
driving him to school, she told him that she would take him for a treat after school that
day. After school, while they were driving home, her son reminded her of his promise of a
treat. She turned to him and said simply, "I lied."
You can imagine the boy's reaction -
he cried, yelled, and told her that this was "not nice and no fair." After two
days of sporadic lying, her son got the message.
This is a message that we all need to
get. Truth must be able to be assumed in a relationship. If truth cannot be assumed in a
relationship disappointment, heartache, and insecurity are the inevitable results. Lying
is wrong and dangerous because it causes serious problems in our relationships
Third, we must realize that lying is
self-destructive.
When you lie, a crack begins to develop
in your character. If lying becomes a pattern in life, then that crack becomes a
separation. There is a lack of integrity – a lack of wholeness -- in this person’s
character. You become two persons in one body – the one you want to be and the one
you actually are. You are a hypocrite. Deception has produced a division of character.
A hypocrite has to do one of two
things: tell the truth or continue to lie to support the person he has actually become.
Sadly, many people choose to continue the deception. As a result more lies have to be told
and a complex system that is false is built. This system is totally maintained by lies.
A woman named Jan was visiting her
mother. The two women went for walk and bumped into her mother's minister. "Is this
your daughter?" he asked. "Oh my, I remember when she was this high."
Without pausing Jan's mother said, "Well, she's twenty-four now." Jan, who was
really 35, nearly fainted on the spot. After they said good-bye to the minister, Jan asked
her mother why she had told such a whopper. "Well," she replied, "I've been
lying about my age for so long, it suddenly dawned on me that I'd have to start lying
about yours too."
That's a humorous example, but it
illustrates the complexity of deception. It’s a high price to pay, but sin never
comes cheap in the final cost analysis.
Since Lying is so destructive, why do
we lie?1
There is a superficial reason and a
deeper reason.
The Superficial Reasons come in many
forms. It's convenient. "Tell him I'm not here." Fear of punishment.
What child hasn’t lied for fear of punishment. We may grow older, but we still fear
punishment, so we lie. Save embarrassment. I have found myself more than once
attempting to make those seated behind me think I am agreeing with the speaker, when I’m
actually bobbing my head as I nod off. Anything familiar sounding about that!? Revenge.
Just to attack. How many lies have been told as a result of a person’s hurt feelings?
To get something. Some are motivated to lie to receive money, status or friendship.
Put others down to elevate yourself. If they look bad, you look good. Insecure
people very often put others down. Culture -- everybody does it.
As with many things there is the deeper
reason. The deeper reason is for self. It's selfishness and shows self-dependence. When I
desire something to be done for me that is selfishness. If it is done by me for me that is
self-dependence.
With this in mind, let’s analyze
those superficial reasons that I gave a few moments ago. If I lie for convenience, I
provide convenience for me, by me. If I lie for fear of punishment, I provide pardon for
me, by me. If I lie to save embarrassment, I provide acceptance for me, by me. If I lie
for revenge, I provide revenge for me, by me. If I lie to get something, I provide things,
status for me, by me. If I lie to put others down to elevate myself, I get popularity or
fame for me, by me. If I lie because of culture, I provide my lifestyle for me, by me.
Self wants to be God and promote
self-dependence.
This deeper reason is a spiritual
reason. A person lies because he is self-dependent and selfish. The person who lies lives
for himself and by his own means. The person who lies is not depending on God, he is
depending on himself.
Now I think most people believe lying
is wrong, even those who are not Christians, and yet, so many people are dishonest. There
are some people who cannot discern the truth or who will lie on an impulse, and they are
mentally ill. But most people lie for a reason and the first thing I’d like to do
this morning is talk about the reasons people are dishonest. What are the motivations for
not telling the truth?
The first is malice.
There are some people who will lie to
do evil or harm to someone else. The story is told of a peevish old fellow who boarded a
train, occupied the best seat, and then tried to reserve still another for himself by
placing his luggage upon it. Just before the crowded vehicle started, a teenage boy came
running up and jumped aboard. "This car is full," said the man irritably;
"that seat next to me is reserved for a friend of mine who has put his bag
there." The youth paid no attention but sat down saying, "All right, I’ll
stay here until he comes." He placed the suitcase upon his lap while the elderly man
glared at him in vain. Of course, the "friend" didn’t appear, and soon the
train began to move. As it glided past the platform, the young fellow tossed the bag
through the open window remarking, "Apparently your friend has missed the train. We
can’t let him lose his luggage too!" With a horrified expression on his face the
old gentleman began to fume and sputter. His lie had cost him his possessions and he had
lied because of the malice in his heart!
The second motive for lying is fear.
We all know that one; we all know of
the little boy who leaves a trail of crumbs from the cookie jar and when confronted has no
idea why the cookies are gone. It reminds me of the story of a young mother who
encountered her son on the street when he should have been in school. When the boy
finished explaining why he was not where he was supposed to be, the mother replied,
"I’m not accusing you of telling a lie. I’m just saying that I have never
before heard of a school that gives time off for good behavior." People will
sometimes be dishonest because they fear the consequences of telling the truth.
People will also lie when they can
profit by it; that is, when they have something to gain by misrepresenting the truth.
A New Hampshire farmer took his horse
to see the veterinarian. He complained about the horse: "One day he limps, the next
day he doesn’t. What should I do?" The vet advised him, "On the day he
doesn’t limp, sell him!" The counsel of the veterinarian was for the farmer to
misrepresent the condition of his horse for personal gain. Have you ever encountered
anyone who will do that?
Dishonesty does not always occur
through the use of words; sometimes it happens through not saying anything at all. Or
sometimes we can be an accomplice to another’s dishonesty by remaining silent when we
should speak.
And then there are those who embellish
the truth, who boast or stretch the truth like a contorted piece of Silly Putty. In 1993
the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey ran a help-wanted ad for electricians with
expertise at using Sontag connectors, it got 170 responses even though there is no such
thing as a Sontag connector. The Authority ran the ad to find out how many applicants
falsify resumes.
In the Jewish Talmud it is written,
"When you add to the truth, you subtract from it." You see, there are people so
addicted to exaggeration they can’t tell the truth without lying. Or as one
philosophical soul said, "Some folks we know don’t mean to exaggerate--they just
remember big." "Remembering big" is the lie of boasting.
Certainly one of the most common
reasons for not telling the truth is to avoid the pain or discomfort of being honest.
I am reminded of the story of the four
friends who, on a beautiful fall day, decided to go for a drive instead of showing up to
class on time. When they did arrive, the girls explained to the teacher they had had a
flat tire. The teacher accepted the excuse, much to the girls’ relief.
"Since you missed this morning’s
quiz, you must take it now," she said. "Please sit in the four corner seats in
this room without talking." When they were seated, the teacher said, "I am going
to ask one question and if you all answer correctly you all will get an ‘A.’ On
your paper write the answer to this one question: ‘Which tire was flat?’"
M. Scott Peck in his bestseller, The
Road Less Traveled, wrote, "Truth is avoided when it is painful. We can revise
our maps only when we have the discipline to overcome that pain. To have such discipline,
we must be totally dedicated to truth. That is to say that we must always hold truth to be
more important, more vital to our self-interest, than our comfort. Conversely, we must
always consider our personal discomfort relatively unimportant and, indeed, even welcome
it in the service of the search for truth."
"And what does a life of total
dedication to the truth mean?" Dr. Peck lists three essentials:
1. "Continuous, and never-ending
stringent self-examination."
2. "Willingness to be personally
challenged."
3. "Total honesty." And none of
these things comes painlessly!
Another reason people are less than
truthful is closely related to the avoidance of pain and that is that some people feel a
need to make excuses for their actions.
I found some of these crazy excuses
when doing research for this sermon:
When the Police League of Indiana
sponsored a Best Speeding Alibi contest, one honorable mention award went to an
exasperated father who was stopped with a load of fighting, squalling children in his
backseat. He told the officer, "I was trying to get away from all the noise behind
me."
George Shamblin insisted to police
that he was trying to save his wife from drowning when he threw rocks at her as she
struggled in the Kanawha River. "I was trying to drive her back to shore," he
said.
A young man arrested for stealing a
car, had the year’s most novel excuse. He’d found the automobile in front of a
cemetery, he explained, and thought the owner was dead.
There’s no end to the creativity
of one who is trying to excuse himself. And although I’m sure none of those people
actually believed their own excuses there are people who engage in self-deception –
they lie to themselves. We see this all the time in our culture as people delude
themselves into thinking that they are righteous enough, moral enough, good enough to
enter into God’s kingdom on their own merit. Their delusion either comes from
ignorance of the truth or willful denial of the truth.
And finally, the last type of lie we
find is perhaps the most ironic – it is the lie made to God. Those who lie to God
mistake the god they have created for themselves – a god who can be hoodwinked and
fooled – they mistake this created god for the one true God who knows all.
Now some people who have been dishonest
sincerely believe that their dishonesty is for the better. For example, we have seen some
are dishonest in their silence because they sincerely feel someone’s feelings will be
spared. Some sincerely believe there are occasions when "little white lies" that
seem to hurt no one are permissible in this relativistic culture. However, a sincerely
held belief does not necessarily equal a correctly held belief.
Now we must understand that there are
consequences to breaking God’s law. Just as if I try to defy laws of the physical
universe, such as the law of gravity, I will be in for a fall, the same is true is I try
to defy God’s spiritual laws.
One consequence to breaking the
commandment against bearing false witness is that the deceiver may very well get caught.
Minister David indicating this in his radio spots this week on Christian radio
highlighting this sermon topic. If we lie we run the risk of getting caught by someone
else. It reminds me of the story of a woman who, coming home from work, stopped at the
corner deli to buy a chicken for supper. The butcher reached into a barrel, grabbed the
last chicken he had, flung it on the scales behind the counter, and told the woman its
weight. She thought for a moment. "I really need a bit more chicken than that,"
she said. "Do you have any larger ones?"
Without a word, the butcher put the
chicken back into the barrel, groped around as though finding another, pulled the same
chicken out, and placed it on the scales. "This chicken weighs one pound more,"
he announced. The woman pondered her options and then said, "Okay. I’ll take
them both." It is embarrassing to get caught in a lie.
Another consequence of dishonesty is
that our humanity is degraded. Lewis Smedes wrote in his book, Mere Morality:
“The "credibility gap"
that once alienated the public from people in high places now seems to separate us from
one another in all walks of life. Americans lie on their income tax returns to the tune of
millions of dollars a year. Doctors fake reports in order to profit from Medicare
patients. Prize athletes at great universities are kept eligible for competition through
bogus credits and forged transcripts of academic records. Children soon acquire the
cynical assumption that lying is the normal tack for TV advertisers. In the words of a
Time magazine essay, ours is "a huckstering, show-bizzy world, jangling with hype,
hullabaloo, and hooey, bull, baloney, and bamboozlement." After a while, people tend
to expect not to hear the truth anymore; in 1976, a national poll showed that 69 percent
of Americans believed that the country’s leaders had, over the last decade,
consistently lied to the people.
I read a recent report that said 74
percent of Americans will steal from those who won’t miss it, and 64 percent will lie
for convenience as long as no one is hurt. Most Americans (93 percent) say they alone
decide moral issues, basing their decisions on their own experience or whims. Eighty-four
percent say they would break the rules of their own religion. And 81 percent have a
violated a law they felt to be inappropriate. Only 30 percent say they would be willing to
die for their religious beliefs or for God.
Our humanity is degraded, and what’s
worse, dishonesty divides us from the Divine. Jesus said, "I am the way, and the
truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Christ is not a
truth, or merely true; but He is THE TRUTH. Any violation of God’s commandments,
including this 9th commandment, separates us from God and condemns us for all
eternity.
The obvious question then is how do I
avoid being dishonest and keep God’s commandment? I thought you’d never ask!
First, our hearts must be right. We
must tell the truth all the time in love. Sodium is an extremely active element found
naturally only in combined form; it always links itself to another element. Chlorine, on
the other hand, is the poisonous gas that gives bleach its offensive odor. When sodium and
chlorine are combined, the result is sodium chloride--common table salt--the substance we
use to preserve meat and bring out its flavor.
Love and truth can be like sodium and
chlorine. Love without truth is flighty, sometimes blind, willing to combine with various
doctrines. On the other hand, truth by itself can be offensive, some times even poisonous.
Spoken without love, it can turn people away from the gospel. When truth and love are
combined in an individual or a church, however, then we have what Jesus called "the
salt of the earth," and we’re able to preserve and bring out the beauty of our
faith.
However, we must also tell the truth
plainly. There is a great story about an elderly countess was very happy with her own
chauffeur. He was courteous, prompt and efficient. The only complaint she had concerned
his personal appearance. One day she said to him diplomatically, "Randall, how
frequently do you think one should shave in order to look neat and proper?"
"Well, madam," said Randall,
also trying to be diplomatic, "with a light beard like yours, I’d say every
three or four days would be enough." When you tell the truth, do it in love but also
that there will be no misunderstanding.
Also, convey truth in a caring way.
Another favorite story of mine is
related by John Maxwell in his book, Be A People Person. In that book he tells of
Mr. Myrick who had to go to Chicago on business and persuaded his brother to take care of
his cat during his absence. Though he hated cats, the brother agreed. Upon his return,
Myrick called from the airport to check on the cat.
"Your cat died," the brother
reported, then hung up.
Myrick was inconsolable. His grief was
magnified by his brother’s insensitivity, so he called again to express his pain.
"There was no need for you to be
so blunt," he said.
"What was I supposed to say?"
asked the perplexed brother.
"You could have broken the news
gradually," explained Myrick. "You could have said, ‘The cat was playing on
the roof.’ Then, later in the conversation, you could have said, ‘He fell off.’
Then you could have said, ‘He broke his leg.’ Then when I came to pick him up,
you could have said, ‘I’m so sorry. You’re cat passed away during the
night.’ You’ve got to learn to be more tactful. "By the way, how’s
Mom?
After a long pause, the brother
replied, "She’s playing on the roof."
Ephesians 4:15 reminds us to
"Speak the truth in love."
However, before we can convey the truth
we must know the truth. It is not enough to know of the truth, or that there is a
truth, but we must have a relationship with the truth, which means a relationship with
Jesus Christ. Now I caution you that you may be called intolerant because you believe in
an absolute truth. Most of our society believes truth is relative and it depends upon your
point of view.
The Christian sees truth as an
absolute. The humanist views truth through the eye of the beholder. An attorney friend of
mine was representing a client charged with bank robbery. The robber complained bitterly
to my friend that he would never get a fair trial. My friend asked the robber why he felt
that way and his response was, "There were too many people who saw me do it!"
There is absolute truth and the problem
we have today is not that there are those who believe there are some absolutes, but that
tolerance seemingly knows no bounds. Rob Bugh, in a sermon entitled, "Brokers of
Truth and Love," wrote, "Tolerance is the final virtue of a decadent society.
Don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying we should be petty, harsh, narrow-minded
evangelicals. I don’t want to be a jerk. But I am saying that to be a Christian is to
believe that God has spoken in sentences that can be understood and must be obeyed. If
that means I’m intolerant, so be it."
Abraham Lincoln once asked a man he was
debating, "How many legs does a cow have?" The disgusted reply came back
"Four, of course." Lincoln agreed, "That’s right. Now, suppose you
call the cow’s tail a leg; how many legs would the cow have?" The opponent
replied confidently, "Why, five, of course." Lincoln came back, "Now that’s
where you’re wrong. Calling a cow’s tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg!"
The truth of a matter is not determined by how many people believe it.
We must know the truth and we do that
through God’s Word which we must absorb. C.S. Lewis wrote, "A man can’t
always be defending the truth; there must be a time to feed on it.
We must also understand that God knows
all and sees all, including the very sinful depths of our hearts. We cannot deceive God
because He knows of our attempts to deceive Him even before we formulate the deception in
our minds. We cannot ever fool the Creator of the universe.
Finally, we must know that we will
fail. We fail because we are sinners by nature which means we put ourselves at the center
of existence instead of God. That is, after all, why we really try to deceive. But the
good news is, that no matter how miserably we have failed and will fail, God’s grace
is sufficient to forgive our sins if we will only trust Him to do so. Let us pray.
It's
one of the most familiar phrases on TV, repeated again and again on
courtroom shows. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but
the truth, so help you?"
It's an appropriate phrase to think of as we begin our look at the ninth commandment. The boundary set by the ninth commandment applies directly to criminal and civil legal cases. Yet this com-mandment, as do all the others, suggests other boundaries that the individual who seeks to live a holy life will want to establish, and live within.
God's Kingdom of Truth
The knowledge that the Lord is
everywhere should have a tremendous impact on what we say. Lies, gossip, unkind remarks,
off-color comments, angry words, irreverent speech, and disrespectful use of the Lord's
name should never come from our lips.
God's kingdom is strikingly
different. God is a "God of truth" (Psalms. 31:5). God cannot lie (Titus
1:2), and we are called on to reflect this characteristic of God, to be conformed to the
image of His Son (Romans 8:29). The righteous hate what is false (Proverbs13:5). As
children of a true and truthful God, we need to be truthful people.
Colossians 2:1-4 I want you to know how much I am
struggling for you and for those at Laodicea, and for all who have not met me personally.
My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may
have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of
God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I tell
you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments. (NIV)
"We are facing an integrity
crisis. Not only is the conduct of the church in question, but so is the very character of
the church."
(Warren Wiersbe) For many within the church it seems, wrong is not always wrong and right
is not always right.
It looks like it's time for those of us
who live by God's standard to recommit ourselves to honesty. It looks like it's time for
those of us who live by God's standard to recommit ourselves to honesty.
God's kingdom is designed for those who love the truth for only those who love the truth can be sanctified in God’s sight.
2 Thessalonians 2:9-13 The coming of the lawless one will be
in accordance with the work of Satan displayed in all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs
and wonders, and in every sort of evil that deceives those who are perishing. They perish
because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a
powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who
have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness. But we ought always to thank
God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be
saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. (NIV)
Telling the truth is a matter of
submission to God's will. Those seeking the truth discover
God's kingdom, and contrary to popular opinion, truth can be discovered.
John 8:31-32 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus
said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know
the truth, and the truth will set you free." (NIV)
The truth effectively works in those
who truly believe. Paul
writes, "And we also thank God continually because, when you received the word of
God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men, but as it actually
is, the word of God, which is at work in you who believe" (1 Thessalonians 2:13
NIV).
Truth effectively works in you when it
creates a character of integrity. A person of integrity seeks to use
the truth to eliminate error and falsehood. "To love integrity means to use truth to
eliminate error and falsehood from the world . . .To love truth is to be truthful in such
a way that people will learn to trust us . . .To love others is to use truth to serve them
and not ourselves." ("To be perfectly honest . . ." (Calvin Miller. Moody,
Mar 1987. Pages 16-19.)
A boy, 12 years old, was the important
witness in a lawsuit. One of the lawyers, after questioning him severely, asked,
"Your father has been telling you how to testify, hasn't he?" "Yes,"
said the boy. "Now," pursued the lawyer, "just tell us how your father told
you to testify." "Well," replied the boy modestly, "Father told me the
lawyers would try to tangle me in my testimony; but if I would just be careful and tell
the truth, I could say the same thing every time."
Proverbs 12:17-22 A truthful witness gives honest
testimony, but a false witness tells lies. Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the
tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts
only a moment. There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who
promote peace. No harm befalls the righteous, but the wicked have their fill of trouble.
The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful. (NIV)
We are told to be honest with each
other. Paul writes, "Therefore
each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all
members of one body." (Ephesians 4:25 NIV)
We lie to avoid the consequences of our
wrongdoing or to promote our personal interests. We sometimes lie just to get people's
attention. We may use flattery spoken to manipulate others.
Proverbs 26:28 A lying tongue hates those it hurts,
and a flattering mouth works ruin. (NIV)
We may circumvent the truth through
deception. We see
deception everywhere: in the businessman who carefully massages the fine print to hide the
real commitment of the contract, the preacher who uses Scripture to manipulate his
congregation, and the politician who uses statistics selectively to "prove" his
point. The Bible says deceit is the sign of a wicked heart (Proverbs 12:20).
One way we circumvent truth is by
exaggeration. It was
said of one lady, "She's just about truthful. She doesn't lie about anything except
her weight, her age, and her husband's annual earnings."
Another way is to shade the truth and
tell only what serves our purpose. Ananias and Sapphira serve as the
first example of disobedience and God's discipline in the first century church. They only
told what served their purpose. They sold a piece of property and pretended they gave all
the money to the church. They kept back a portion of the money.
Acts 5:1-5 Now a man named Ananias, together with
his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. With his wife's full knowledge he kept
back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles' feet.
Then Peter said, "Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you
have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for
the land? Didn't it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn't the
money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied to
men but to God." When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great fear
seized all who heard what had happened. (NIV)
Warren A. Chandler was speaking to a
congregation about God's harsh punishment of Ananias and Sapphira for their dishonesty.
Then to stress the fact that all of us lie sometimes, he commented, "God doesn't
strike people dead for lying as He used to. If He did, where would I be?" Surprised
by a wave of snickering that rippled across the audience, Chandler added, "I'll tell
you where I would be. I would be right here preaching to an empty church!" Chandler,
of course, was not denying his own guilt. But he made the point--they all had lied.
Another way to shade the truth is to
cover up our shortcomings and hide our true feelings. Christians should strive to be
open and honest. We should be able to share with other Christians and seek their prayers,
support, advice, and help to change or become accountable. If we live a lie and pretend to
be perfect, it is discouraging to others who know they cannot be perfect. The refusal to
admit our needs estranges us from the help that the body of the church can offer. It also
keeps us from knowing and understanding ourselves, and consequently it prevents us from
growing. ("Be honest with me" by Richard Strauss. Moody, Mar 1987. Pages 23-25.)
Integrity vs. hypocrisy - present honest face to others.
We should think of ourselves according
to the truth. The temptation is to blame our problems on others.
Romans 12:1-3 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in
view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--
this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this
world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and
approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given
me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but
rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God
has given you. (NIV)
It might seem that lying has no direct
connection with immorality, but it does. Look at the degradation that began in Eden with a
simple but explosive lie. "You shall not die."
If a person lacks self-control in one
area, it often spills over into other areas of his/her life. Moral failures can usually be
traced to three lacks: no daily personal walk with the Lord, failure to meditate on
Scripture, and the absence of truth in our lives. You can’t know the truth if you don’t
know the Lord.
Many are anemic in their understanding
of biblical truth and thus have very shallow theology. We believe it ought to work for
others but it doesn’t work for us. Such an unstable doctrinal foundation cannot stand
under pressure. Too often we are legalists when we apply God’s truths to others, but
when we find ourselves in the same situation, we do what feels right for ourselves.
"Sin
has many tools, but a lie is the handle that fits them all." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes
(1809-1894)
What should we do about lying? There
are some methods to help us stop lying.
You have to start with an
honest assessment.
This is where it might get complex because there are so many ways in which we lie!
Outright lying
Half-truths
Quoting our of context
Silence
Body movements so as to create a false impression
Innuendo (creating a false impression)
Slander
Mock humility
Boasting
Gossip
Exaggeration
Flattery (when used to manipulate another)
Criticism (words that are intended to hurt another person’s reputation)
Spreading rumors
Pray about how you use your tongue and allow the Holy Spirit to reveal to you how you
misuse your tongue.
Repent
Once God has revealed
to you the ways in which you transgress the ninth commandment, you have to repent. Don’t
start rationalizing what you do – stop doing it. This is what God wants from you.
Pray for a changed heart. It’s not good enough to clean
up your act. You need to ask God to do the same thing King David did, "Create in me a
clean heart, O God!" (Psalm 51:10a)
Here’s one last thing: embrace
the truth. God is
truth: when we embrace the truth, we embrace God. Truth has to be learned, truth has to be
told and truth has to be lived. As a result of embracing the truth our lives will be
blessed by God.
Our goal in life ought to be to embrace
the truth. This includes not only being people of integrity and honesty; but also
embracing God, who embodies Truth.
Our
culture tells us that truth is subjective, that it is dependent upon the circumstances of
the time and upon the views and beliefs of the individual. The phrase, "my
truth" is popular in many circles. As if "my truth" could really be any
different than "your truth," or "their truth." Often, that phrase is
just a euphemism for a lie, for an untruth tailored to fit the circumstances.
Speech Seasoned with Salt
Ephesians 4:29-32 Do not let any unwholesome talk come
out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their
needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God,
with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and
anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to
one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (NIV)
Colossians 4:5-6 Be wise in the way you act toward
outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of
grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (NIV)
Psalms 15:1-5 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his
neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, who despises a vile man but honors
those who fear the LORD, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, who lends his money
without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things
will never be shaken. (NIV)
Last modified:
April 18, 2006