God's Plan for Children in the Home

"Christ In The Home: God’s Plan For His Family” Series

#9 “God’s Plan for Children in the Home”

When it comes to having children, our society is a bit schizophrenic. On one hand, some childless couples will go to almost any extent to become parents. Thus we have seen the increased popularity of fertility drugs, artificial insemination, surrogate motherhood, and the adoption of foreign-born orphans.

On the other hand, mostly because of unwanted pregnancies, we have seen the abortion rate skyrocket. In addition, there is a significant number of married couples who feel that three is a crowd.

Yes or No

To the following questions, give your basic response (yes or no?):

- do you like to play with babies and small children?

- do you agree with the statement “spare the rod and spoil the child?”

- do you believe that good parenting comes naturally?

- Do children get on your nerves?

- Do you believe that someone can love a child “too much?”

Having a child is one thing; raising a child is quite another. While parenting is one of the most difficult challenges of human experience, it can also be one of the most rewarding. Interestingly enough, very few parents have received any "formal" training in raising children. Most of us "wing it" and often make many of the same moves our parents made. But raising children today is different than it was for our parents.

Today, many parents feel ambivalent about raising children. The demands of a job or career can place excessive stress and pressure on couples and single parents who want to be conscientious in raising their children. In fact, recent studies have shown that most mothers work because they have to- they don't have a choice. About half of these working mothers felt cheated because they were missing out on the best years of their kids' lives. It is little wonder that many young couples have chosen to have fewer children or no children at all.

But despite the many obstacles in parenting, many families today are thriving. In his book, Secrets of Strong Families, Nick Stinnett explains that there are six qualities which are consistently found in strong families.

They are:

- Commitment: "They have a sense of being a team."

- Appreciation: "These folks help each other feel good about themselves."

- Communication: "They spend a lot of time talking and listening.”

- Time Together: "These families eat, work, play, and talk together."

- Spiritual Health: "It is a unifying force that enables them to reach out in love and compassion to others."

- Coping Skills: "Some of their coping skills are seeing something positive in the crises, pulling together, being flexible, drawing on spiritual and communication strengths, and getting help from friends and professionals."

As we begin this section about children, it might be helpful to ask and answer a question: "why have children?" Certainly, it's not to satisfy our own selfish ambitions. It should be for one primary purpose: because God has planted in us the intense need to love and care for someone else.Wanting a child is as natural as wanting a mate and is a normal manifestation of our growth as persons. For the couple ready for this experience, it is the most satisfying of all experiences. But there is more to having a child than just wanting one.

Having children is part of God’s plan
The first recorded command which appears in the Bible and is directed toward newly formed humanity has reference to children. God tells of his intentions of making man in the image and likeness of the Godhead in
Genesis 1:26: "Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

He then reveals the accomplishment of this amazing feat...male and female form the whole of created humanity: Genesis 1:27: "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

The prophet Isaiah tells us one more thing about this creation: Isaiah 45:18: "For this is what the LORD says-- he who created the heavens, he is God; he who fashioned and made the earth, he founded it; he did not create it to be empty, but formed it to be inhabited-- he says: "I am the LORD, and there is no other."

God said to Adam and Eve: Genesis 1:28: "God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every
living creature that moves on the ground."

1 Timothy 3:2-4, 13: "Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, {3} not given to drunkenness, not violent but
gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. {4} He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect…those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus."

The fullest human life is one that takes a chance on being committed to another human being. What it means to be a family is most beautifully expressed when two people accept all the risks of having children, knowing that they will always "be on call." To bring a child into the world is to say, "I will care for you, whether you win the Heisman Trophy or whether you live always with a mental or physical handicap. I will
love you, regardless of whether you are an honor student or are unable to compete with others scholastically. I will love you as part of myself. If necessary, I will sacrifice my own ambitions for your sake."

Children provide us with a constant opportunity for personal growth toward self-fulfillment. They furnish a unique and inescapable demand for giving of ourselves!

Nothing so personal and so wonderfully made could be produced in any other manner than through those who themselves were made in the image of God. Children reveal God, they reveal their parents, and they reveal in a clear and innocent way the basic needs of all mankind.

When a child comes into the home he calls for adjustment. This adjustment is a three-way operation: parents must adjust to the child; the child must adjust to the parents; and all the family including the newborn must
adjust to the larger and increasingly significant home.

The family is the one place on earth where you can be accepted when you seem to have made a wreck of your life, the one sanctuary where you are valued when you are old, the one refuge where you have worth when you can no longer produce."

In the realm of self-giving, a mother's love makes the wealth of even the most devoted father look pale. Lovingly she accepts the pains of child bearing. Selflessly she exerts the energy and invests the time it takes
to care for her home and family. Untiringly she sits at the bedside of her sick child. Willingly she gives up comforts and luxury to help provide for her child's education. And with every gift of herself she is
enriched, mothers have much to be proud of!

The Psalmist David wrote some marvelous words which apply to our families in Psalm 127. Theses verses form a beautiful time-sequence picture of the progressions of the home.

The home in the early years
"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. {2} In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he
grants sleep to those he loves."

As a husband and wife join together as one, they begin to adjust to each other's lives ... they learn to love each other and also learn to love the Lord.

Indicate the expansion of the home with the presence of little children

"Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him."

They are a heritage and gift from God
All husbands and wives borrow their children. Our children are not our own! They belong to God.

A heritage is a possession and children constitute a precious possession! God gives us richly all things to enjoy, and only parents who have been blessed with children can understand what a true treasure they are. Even from infancy, the parents recognize the value of their possession in children, but as they grow older and bring grandchildren into the family, there is no question but that the parents, though perhaps poor in this
world's goods, are fabulously rich compared to an aging pair with no offspring, even though the latter may be wealthy in land and goods.

Proverbs 17:6: "Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children."

Children are assigned by God, His property, delivered to us as a loving reward for us to carry out the process He began over nine months ago! Just as there is a little bit of heaven in a true Christian home, there
is certainly a little bit of God in the soul of a child.

They are like arrows.
"Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. {5} Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate."

God has placed into our "quivers" particularly designed, prescribed arrows. They will, by the wise parent, be drawn out, examined, and understood. God gives wisdom so the launching of that arrow toward the target will be a direct, central hit.

Every child has the right to good parents. The hour of one's birth I perhaps the most significant hour in life, and to think he had no control over it! The child should be recognized for his great value. From a purely evolutionary viewpoint the child is merely a biological product of the union of two consenting adults. God is not involved. A soul is not at stake. No eternal destiny is acknowledged. The little package of flesh
is that and nothing more!

What a sharp contrast to the concept of childhood shared by believers in God! The Bible teaches that every child is the offspring of God. Acts 17:28-29: "'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of
your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.' {29}"Therefore since we are God's offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone--an image made by man's design and skill."

There is a big difference between the theory of godless evolution and that of Biblical creation just as there is between the idea of a child being the offspring of God and the product of chance, the child of no design and no destiny.

Mom and Dad, Meet Your Child
Kenneth Woodward and Phyllis Malamud revealed in a recent study, published in Newsweekm the results of an intensive analysis of our domestic scene. They found the issues with which parents must cope.

Finances
The cost of bearing, clothing, feeding, entertaining, and educating children is the greatest in our history.

Working mothers
For the first time, a majority of American mothers hold jobs outside the home, many out of necessity rather than desire.

Public opinion
Respect for parenthood as a vocation is rapidly declining in our land. Questions like "is having kids really worth the sacrifices?" and "if you had to do it over, would you have children?" are frequently being asked.

Objectives
Relatively few people agree about what "good parents" should do or what a child should be like when he becomes a young adult. Ultimate objectives are unclear.

Divorce
The parents of more than 1.4 million were divorced last year. That's twice the number of a decade ago. A curious fact is that an increasing number of fathers are gaining custody of children after divorce proceedings are final.

Drugs and alcohol
They are on the rise and especially among the youngsters.

Death
The second leading cause of death between ages 14-28 is now suicide.

Crime
Juvenile delinquency is rapidly rising to epidemic proportions. One child in nine can expect to appear in juvenile court before he turns 18.

Runaways and abuse
These have been in the news recently and gaining national attention. It's a major set of problems relatively new to most of us, thankfully.

Illegitimacy
Children having children...a major news story recently in Time magazine recently told.

No time
Even mothers who stay home don't necessarily spend time with their children. Many children don’t even eat dinner with their parents regularly. Television, peer groups, outside-the-home activities and school involvements occupy the child's time far more than do their parents!

What is the answer to this long list of problems? God!!
It is also important that each husband and wife develop sensitivity. In Dr. James Dobson's book Hide or Seek, he listed five barriers that can cause a child to doubt his worth: the first one mentioned was parental
insensitivity.

This point ought to make a great deal of sense to us because those with more than one child can quickly admit that they are not alike! Just look at two children: one is creative ........ the other is aggressive and
practical; one is very intelligent ....... the other rather non-academic; one is interested in technical things ....... the other is a dreamer; for some, life is simple and happy ....... for others, it's complicated and serious.

In light of these well-accepted facts, Solomon's wise words sound loudly to us here: Proverbs 22:6: "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

This verse has brought forth a great deal of guilt on the part of some parents, who have young adults who are not faithful to God, Christ, the church, and parental values which were instilled in them.

What is meant by "train up?"
The original root word is the term for "the palate, the roof of the mouth, the gums." In verb form, it is the term used for breaking and bringing into submission a wild horse by the rope in the mouth.

The term was used in the days of Solomon to describe the action of the midwife who, soon after helping deliver a child, would dip their finger into the juice of chewed or crushed dates, reach into the mouth of the
infant, and massage the gums and the palate within the mouth so as to create a sensation of sucking, a sense of taste. (The juice was also thought to be a cleansing agent). They would place the child in its mother's arms to begin feeding from her breast.

So it is a word to describe "developing a thirst." And that's what we are to do with our children ... we need to train or create a thirst for God within them! And if we do that, they won't depart from it, though they might go through some maturing and searching years.

The parent who is wise and sensitive comes to know the way God made the child, then fits his training accordingly!

One writer said: "Adapt the training of your child so that it is in keeping with his God-given characteristics and tendencies; when he comes to maturity, he will not depart from the training he/she has received."

Twelve Basic Needs of Children
Every object of God’s creation has special needs of its own and, in every case, God has provided a method for satisfying those needs.

Plants need the water and minerals which are contained in soil, so God created plants with root systems which would penetrate the soil and absorb the needed elements. Animals have altogether different needs with regard to satisfying their need for nourishment, so God created animals with a special digestive system. In other words, God has provided satisfaction for every need found in his creation.

Human beings have their special needs, too. Some of these needs are elementary in nature and are easily satisfied. Man needs oxygen, so God created him with lungs which automatically draw oxygen into the body and make it usable for body needs.

Some needs of humans require more effort on man's part for their satisfaction. For example, man needs water and may have to drill a well in order to find it. He needs food and in order to have sufficient
amounts of food he may have to plant, cultivate and harvest vegetables from a garden.

Humans also have spiritual needs and they cannot be provided by automatic responses of the body or by any other entirely physical effort. These spiritual needs have to do with man's personality, disposition, relation
to other humans and his relation to God. But, as in every case, God has provided a source of satisfaction for these needs. In this case, the source is the home. The home is God's instrument for satisfying the basic needs of human beings!

Insofar as the needs of children are concerned, parents are the primary providers. Someone has suggested that since God is a spirit and cannot be physically present in all places, he provided every child with a mother and a father to see that his/her needs are satisfied. Parents have a tremendous responsibility to their children.

1. Children need the security of a stable home life.
Children need to have a firm ground under their feet for proper development. Any parent knows that newborn babies are terribly frightened of falling. And when the baby is frightened by any sudden movement, the best way to calm him is to pick him up and hold him very firmly. This need lasts for a lifetime!

Children need the security that comes from the knowledge that mother and father love each other very much. Quarreling between a child's parents is like an earthquake which threatens to take away his firm footing.

A child is very sensitive to tension and hostility. Make him grow up in an atmosphere charged with discord and he will be insecure for the rest of his life.

A child also needs to know that he is loved by his parents. There is no way to know how many scores of children are unwanted. Sometimes you hear of a baby who was abandoned by parents who didn't want him. There is a sense in which this abandoned child is better off than an unwanted child who is kept by his parents and tolerated but not loved!

The security of a stable home life is especially important to teenagers. Their world is one of change and uncertainty. They are being forced to deal with complex and demanding situations which threaten to undermine their confidence in the human race in general and in themselves in particular.

A lot of teenagers who don't have the firm undergirding of a stable home life turn to alcohol and drugs as an escape from reality. But young people can face any problem life has to offer if they can rely on their
homes to give them stability in the midst of those trying times.

If they know their parents are on their side, they will make it. But just as surely as you keep your love from each other and from your teenage son or daughter, you seal his/her doom.

2. Children need the confidence of their parents.
Children want to be trusted and, in most cases, they will be trustworthy if given the chance to prove them-selves. Teenagers are especially sensitive to a lack of trust by their parents/teachers.

Some parents are constantly questioning their children and indicating that they expect the worst from them. Keep up those suspicious looks and questions and your child will probably decide that it isn't worth the
effort to try to win your confidence and will live up to your lesser expectations!

You should let him/her know that he has your confidence and then he will likely live up to it.

I knew a very fine young lady whose character was above reproach. When she began dating, her mother would always be waiting for her at the front door and make her sit down immediately and account for every minute of the night. It isn't hard for me to see why she eventually almost lived up to her mother's suspicions. Her mother broke the Biblical injunction: Ephesians 6:4: "...do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." (The NEB translates "exasperate" with the word "resentment" while other translations use the word "provoke")

3. Children need the companionship of their parents
Not all the gifts of money and "things" in the world can make up for the failure to give one's self. A great many "good" men and women have utterly failed as parents because they withheld themselves from their
children. Trying so hard to provide a good living and some of the "little extras that we never had," they lost their children.

One of the saddest stories in the Bible is of Samuel and his sons, which we studied a few weeks back. Remember? They were anything but godly, though Samuel was a true man of God. Why? Because Samuel spent so much time with the "congregation and its problems" that he lost his own family!

Today, we need to be certain that we all equally share the responsibilities of this congregation in regard to visits, evangelism, edification, etc., so we don't lose the "preacher's, elder's, and deacon's children."

4. Children need instruction from their parents.
Children get their information from various sources and, on the basis of the information they are given, they build a life.

We trust our public and private schools to give a general education to our children, and these schools are doing an adequate job (depending upon who you talk to). But there are at least two special areas of instruction where parents have a particular responsibility--sex and religion.

These two areas are the most difficult of all in many ways. Because they are so difficult, some parents simply side-step their responsibility and leave their children to pick up whatever information they may be able to come by on their own.

Because much has already been said about the need for Biblical training on the part of the parents in other lessons, we'll spend our time here on the subject of sex education.

Young people must have information on the sexual subject and they will get it! If they don't get it from the right source, they will be forced to get it from the wrong ones (cheap books, porn magazines, etc).

Sex is treated on the erotic and sensual level in these publications; it's portrayed as vulgar passion and this distorted image will permanently damage your child.

Mothers should teach their daughters about sex; fathers should teach their sons. It should be shown that sex is a natural and wholesome function which has been ordained by God for married people. It should
also be pointed out that these sexual drives are strong and must be controlled by scriptural principles.

It might be of interest to have a list of descriptive references to sex from the Bible:
· Genesis 3:10, 21: nakedness; clothing
· Genesis 19:1-26: the sins of Sodom
· Genesis 22:17: the Lord's promise that He would multiply Abraham's"seed"
· Genesis 35:16-20: the perils of birth
· Genesis 39:7-23: Joseph's chastity
· Leviticus 15:1-15: spoken of as one of the earliest references to gonorrhea
· Leviticus 18: incest as an abomination
· Matthew 5:27-32: sex information in Sermon on the Mount
· John 8:3-11: tendency to abuse one who has committed a sexual offense
· 1 Corinthians 7: marriage and sex is honorable
· Romans 1:24-32: sex sins and perversions

Some ‘do’s and don’t regarding sex education
· Don't make your own feelings of shame the basis of instruction
· Don't avoid warnings about masturbation, homosexual activity and social diseases. Avoid minute details and horror films.
· Don't think "a young man must have his fling"
· Don't try to prevent adolescents from becoming interested in the opposite sex
· Don't try to make cold beings out of young people by being mostly negative
· Don't accept supersitious beliefs about sex yourself
· Don't expect to solve all of the child's problems by sex instruction
· Don't fail to warn children against persons who use smutty language, tell filthy stories, or who become too familiar in their conduct. Avoid them!
· Don't treat sex sins as unforgivable

5. Children need to learn to obey.
There is more significance to this than meets the eye. But suffice it to say that Paul commands children in this crucial area: Ephesians 6:1: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."

The self-discipline which comes by obedience to commands by wise parents is in complete harmony with the will of God, and the common sense of it is clearly seen in the affairs of men.

The first six or seven years of life upon this life can virtually determine eternal destiny! Young children can be taught basic principles and attitudes. They include respect, obedience, and cooperation.

6. Children need the love and fear of God.
Proverbs 14:27: "The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, turning a man from the snares of death."

The child needs to know how much God loves them and how He sent His only begotten Son for their sin. This fear is not trembling, but better called respect.

7. Children need examples from their parents.
What you are will mean more to your children than what you say. To really be an effective parent, saying and being will have to be consistent with each other.

8. Children need discipline.
Solomon wrote: Prov. 23:13: "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die."

Only a generation ago parents were being told it was "old-fashioned" and foolish to spank a child or use any other forms of physical discipline in the correction of children.

Discipline isn't always spanking! The word has as its root to "teach." Our reducing the word to mean only punishment is a great disservice to it.

God's word is clear on this subject:
Genesis 18:19: "For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham
what he has promised him."

Eph. 6:4: "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

2 Tim. 3:14-15: "But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, {15} and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus."

Heb. 12:9-11: "Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! {10} Our fathers disciplined us for a
little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. {11} No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of
righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

Anything we can say or any fair method which can be used to teach children proper rules of behavior should be used.

All that we do in this area must be done in fairness. Fairness within the family circle is catching to children. Partiality has long been a cause of family strife and complexes of inferiority and superiority in children
that harm and rule their lives. Jacob and Esau and his brethern stand as eternal examples of the inevitable strife generated by parental partiality.

9. Children need recognition of their achievements.
Parents are quick to notice and long in remembering the mistakes and failures of their children. Fortunate is the child whose parent is as delighted with his successes and achievements as he is disappointed with
his failures!

We all must have praise and appreciation. "Honor where honor is due" is a Biblical principle which applies to the relationship of parents to their children.

10. Children need to be given responsibility.
The Bible says, in Lamentations 3:27: "It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young."

That simply means that it is wise for parents to teach children a sense of responsibility. This is one reason why giving an allowance to children is an effective teaching device. They also need to have some jobs which are part of being in the family and also learn the importance of keeping one's promises or to finish an assigned task, etc.

11. Children need to be given a measure of freedom.
Some boys and girls are literally smothered by over-protective parents! Some mothers insist on driving their 12-to-13 year old boys to a Scout meeting and sitting there the whole time until the meeting is over,
watching everything that goes on. They are afraid for them to ride a bicycle or go with a group of their church friends.

While it is important that we use good common sense and check out the places and people they are spending time with, we must also realize that we don't want weak and timid teenagers who can't stand on their own two feet! They must be encouraged to try new things. They need to use their imaginations. They need some privacy and freedom. And what better place to have our children when they are in environments where there is proper control and chaperones.

12. Children need unconditional love.
A parent is very foolish indeed who says, "now if you want me to love you, you mind me." Life is insecure enough without the threat of love being denied within the boundaries of our own family! Children need to
feel their parents' love through demonstration. They need to be told and shown that they are loved.

To have the capacity to love, one must first be loved. 1 John 4:19: "We love because he first loved us."

This provides the child with a sense of being wanted. Love expressed in word and deed is the need here!

13. Children must have the opportunity to grow.
The gospel writer Luke suggests the areas in which the child should develop: Luke 2:52: "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men."

The child must grow mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. When we grow in favor with God, we are developing spiritually. When we grow in favor with man, we are becoming well adjusted in society.

TEN SELECTED RULES FOR BRINGING DOWN A CHILD
1. Let him have plenty of money to spend as he likes.
2. Permit him to choose his companions withoout restraint or guidance.
3. Let him spend Sunday hours on the street or with companions with low ideals as to the Lord's day.
4. Allow him to go out at night as he pleases and return when he gets ready.
5. Make no inquiry as to where and with whom he spends his leisure time.
6. Teach him to expect pay for all help at home and for all services to others.
7. Allow him to think that good manners are a good substitute for good morals.
8. Do not trouble to interest him in the Bible or to win him to Christ.
9. Let him see that you think church attendance is not important.
10. Never let him hear you pray, especially not for his salvation.

TEN SELECTED RULES FOR BRINGING UP A CHILD
1. Make home the brightest and most attractive place you can.
2. Make him responsible for helping in some daily duties at home.
3. Never punish him in anger, nor to relieve your own feelings, but only in love and for disobedience.
4. Do not ridicule his ideas; talk frankly on matters in which he is interested.
5. Encourage him to invite friends to your home and table.
6. Impress upon his mind the fact that service and honesty are more important than making money.
7. Live Christ before him so that you will be able to talk Christ to him.
8. Let him see your enjoyment and profit from Bible reading and prayer.
9. Set an example in faithful church attendance and interest in the work.
10. Be much in prayer for his salvation and spiritual growth.

Edward Markham wrote:
"We are all blind until we see that in the human plan
Nothing is worth the making if it does not make the man.
Why build these cities glorious if man unbuilded goes?
In vain we build the work unless the builder also grows."

Some thought questions
1. What age in your life has proven to have been most significant?
2. What does the phrase "men are made, not born" say to you?
3. What kind of rights and privileged does a child have in the home?

What children owe their parents
How well parents do their work will be a decisive factor in determining the future attitudes and actions of children toward fathers and mothers.

Parental failure can expect to reap rebellion from untaught and undisciplined children in later years. Parental success has every right to expect love, honor, respect in return.

The child in the home should be obedient and respectful to his parents. Good reasons can be given so support this divine injuction. We see it in the life of Jesus: Luke 2:51-52: "Then he went down to Nazareth With them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. {52} And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men."

If the Son of God could not afford to dispense with obedience to His parents during His youth, then no young person today can afford to either. Eph. 6:1-3: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is
right. {2} "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- {3} "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

This love, obedience and respect go throughout the life of the parents, not just during the time they are at home! The Bible goes so far as to make it mandatory for grown sons and daughters to render financial aid
when their aged parents need it!

The Pharisees in Christ's era on earth possessed a very strong abhorrence toward the idea of parental support. With satanic ingenuity they had worked out a neat little system which enabled them to dodge this
God-imposed obligation.

Jesus exposed their wicked formula in Mark 7:9-13: "And he said to them: "You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions! {10} For Moses said, 'Honor your fa-ther and your mother,' and, 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' {11} But you say that if a man says to his father or mother: 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is Corban' (that is, a gift devoted to God), {12} then you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother. {13} Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that."

By pronouncing something as "Corban [devoted to God]" they could use it during their lifetime and not use it for parental care during their lifetime!

1 Tim. 5:4, 8: "But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for
this is pleasing to God....If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."