“What’s A Mother To Do?”

“What’s A Mother To Do?”

Ephesians 2:19-22

By Archie Luper

I. INTRODUCTION

 If your family is anything like ours I’m sure you enjoy looking at family photo albums. Both of our boys, and Kathy and I, enjoy occasionally getting out the family photo albums or videos looking. There’s a story about a little boy who was doing just that early one evening. His father was home from work and was sitting in his recliner reading the newspaper while his mother was in the kitchen busy preparing the evening meal. The little boy came across a picture of his mother and father’s wedding ceremony in the photo album. Said, "Daddy, what’s this picture of you and Mommy here for? Why is she in a white dress and you in a black suit?" His father said, "Well, son, that’s a picture taken on the day your mom and I got married." The little boy thought for a while and then asked his father, "Is that when you got Mom to come and work for us?"

Joshua’s card: “It’s Mother’s Day, Mom. Forget about the cooking – Forget about the cleaning – Forget about the laundry – (inside) Just pretend you’re Dad!”

Kathy told me about watching Oprah a week or so ago when she was out of school. The show was focused on women who looked much younger than their actual age. One of the “secrets of success” they shared with the audience was for women to get plenty of rest each day and to spend several hours of quiet time by themselves. My reaction when she told me about the program was “what planet do they live on?”

Mothers today work very hard to keep the family functioning properly. In 1914 President Wilson proclaimed the first Mother’s Day to honor and show appreciation for all mothers. When grappling with what to preach this morning I thought of that little story of the boy and how quite often mothers work tirelessly for their families and how they are also often under-appreciated. Someone once said that: A mother is a person who — seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people — promptly announces that she never did care for pie.

Moms have a tough job. It has been said that there are four things that no one can accomplish: inherit character, buy true friendship, purchase respect, nor out give God. Although we cannot inherit character, I do believe it can be learned and modeled.

In our Scripture reference this morning we’re going to look at the mother of King Lemuel. Not much is known about who this king was, but Lemuel had a great mom who instructed him in the ways of God concerning the family. The book of Proverbs closes with the wise words of Lemuel’s mom with which she had instructed her son. The book was primarily written by Solomon who wrote over 3,00 proverbs and composed songs. Wisdom drips from every line.

On Mother’s Day, no words could be more fitting. What is a mother to do? Let’s listen in on this conversation.

There are three things that King Lemuel’s mom taught him that mothers today should teach their children

Teach Them to Desire “Biblical Morality” (31:1-3)

One of the most important roles a parent needs to fill is that of teaching children the right path for their life ahead. The Proverb writer said, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) I believe there is great wisdom in those words. The greatest teaching children need to learn early in life is Biblical morality. That’s the wisdom Lemuel’s mom first shared with him. Purity in moral terms was what she meant and he knew it. She told him that he would destroy himself with immorality.

Someone once said, "Morality, like art, consists in drawing a line somewhere." That’s what we are doing when we teach and model Biblical morality for our children. We’ve got to draw lines for our children. In Ephesians 5:1-21 Paul encourages the Christians at Ephesus to live a life of morality, holiness. READ.

Twenty-five years ago, when the New York Yankees were the dominant team in major league baseball, the manager would say to the rookies, "Boys, it's an honor just to put on the New York pinstripes. So when you put them on, play like world champions. Play like Yankees. Play proud." In similar fashion, the apostle Paul is attempting to inspire and to motivate the believers at Ephesus by challenging them to be imitators of God and to walk worthy of the name by which they are called. As mothers, as parents, we also need to model, to teach, and to encourage our children to live a life of Biblical morality.

Teach Them to Avoid “Personal Compromise” (31:4-5)

Essentially Lemuel’s mother told him to avoid “wine” and to control his desires for “strong drink”. The result of a life controlled by drink would be forfeiting of a steady hand in dealing with the lives of others and a tendency to forget the “decrees” of God. The example is there for many other areas of life. We must teach our children to not compromise the morals and values that they have been given.

Story of tree in front yard. Told at Youth Alive! Over the years, water seeped in through the gashes, and disease found an opening. Slowly, the trunk had begun to decay from within. Although the sapling grew into what appeared to be a strong tree, it could not withstand the force of the wind. Because of a hidden fault, the tree came crashing to the ground. Christians too can be brought down by little cracks in their moral fiber.

I came across the story of Rasalie Elliott had made it to the fourth round of a national spelling contest in Washington and found herself facing an unusual predicament. The 11-year-old from South Carolina had been asked to spell the word avowal. In her soft southern accent she spelled the word, but the judges were not able to determine if she had used and a or an e as the next to the last letter.

They debated among themselves for several minutes as they listened to a tape recording playbacks. The crucial letter, however, was too accent-blurred to decipher. Finally, the chief judge put the question to the only person who knew the answer. "Was the letter an a or was it an e?" he asked Rosalie. By this time, being surrounded by whispering young spellers, Rosalie knew the correct spelling of the word. Still, without hesitation, she replied that she had misspelled the word and she walked from the stage.

The entire audience stood and applauded, including some fifty newspaper reporters. The moment was a heartwarming and proud one for her parents. Even in defeat, she was a victor. Indeed, more has been written about Rosalie Elliott over the years than about the "unknown" winner of the event!

C. Teach Them to Pursue “Selfless Character” (31:8-9)

Penn State football coach Joe Paterno has built a reputation as a coach committed not only to winning, but to academic excellence. One of his former players made this comment, "Other schools tried to recruit me with promises that I would definitely play. Paterno promised I'd be a better person."

Lemuel’s mother taught him to help those who could help themselves. She said..

READ verse 8-9. Her message was to keep a sharp eye out for the needy. We need to teach our children to look after the needs of others.

Paul spoke about the way we should serve others when he wrote to the church at Philippi. READ Phil 2:5-8. Our attitude should be like Christ’s. We are called to be servants.

Dr. Joyce Brothers gives these pointers on "What kids really need from mom."

1. Train their hearts. Moms need to demonstrate that treating people well—with kindness and courtesy—is just as important as succeeding in school and sports.

2. Boo less, cheer more. We all know that praise can do wonders for people. Excessive criticism can result in an overly self-critical child who fears to take the risks that lead to achievement.

3. Talk "taboo." We live in a dangerous world where kids are exposed to drugs, alcohol and sex at ever-younger ages. Some mothers fear that talking about such taboo activities sanctions them. The opposite is true. A 1994 study of fifth- and seventh-graders in Southern California, for instance, found that children who have honest discussions with their parents are less likely to use drugs and alcohol.

4. Let limits grow as children do. Children need to be loved without qualification so the seed of self-esteem can grow. Such unconditional love does not mean you set no limits: setting boundaries demonstrates to a child how important he or she is to you. When a child oversteps, show disappointment with the behavior, not with the child.

5. Show the way. Kids need a moral compass. That means instilling a sense of right and wrong not only about big issues, but also day-to-day matters.

6. Enjoy them. With time short, moms often focus on "what's important"—catching up on kids' news, helping with homework. Yet in our tense society, children crave something more—a good time with Mom. Motherhood is a big job, but it's not meant to be a burden. Sometimes you may need to be a little less responsible—to let go of your demands on yourself and have fun with your children.